“Holy f*ck, I am so damn hard on myself.” how to stop being hard on yourself
Once I learned how to stop judging others, I had another huge a-ha moment.
I said the meanest sh*t to myself:
- “Wow, you’re fat.
- “You look so heavy in this dress. Oh my god, change immediately.”
- “I ate sh*t today, therefore I am sh*t.”
- “F*ck, you might as well just eat the rest of the chips ‘cause you’re already down the rabbit hole.”
Blaming yourself continuously for eating “bad” food, gaining weight, and overeating is hella destructive. Trust me, I was the queen of sh*t talkin’ to myself.
If this resonates with you, here’s how to stop being so hard on yourself:
#1: Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you adore.
I contain all my stress in my stomach and I’d get super critical about my food, body, weight, and bloating (which only matters worse). I’d look in the mirror and really critique my bloated belly. I’d say crap like: “you look chubby today” and “ugg, that belly flab really sticks out from your dress.” Not loving. You’d never say that to your best friend, so stop saying it to yourself.
#2: Focus on love, not fear.
When I lived in Paris, I was at my heaviest. At first, I was stressed out, but then I made peace with my extra pounds. I realized that I was actually happier in my size 10 skirt than my size 4 one. I focused on what I loved about my life in France – how good I felt there, how happy I was, the great friendships I made. Think about what’s going well in your life and focus on that. A great way to do this is through gratitude journaling (and here are 3 easy peasy steps to get started).
#3: Ditch the idea of the “good days” vs “bad days.”
I’d call it a “bad day” if I stuffed myself at a party or devoured an entire bag of coconut macarons. I deeply struggled with the scarcity mindset. I had to stop viewing life with a binary perspective. It’s not an all or nothing thing. So, stop obsessing over the bad days and glorifying the good ones. Accept what is. Plus, know that you can turn things around at any point. You don’t have to wait until tomorrow or Monday, or January 1st to shift your life. Now is a great time to make a change if destructive eating is also controlling your life (like it controlled mine).
Plus, you might also wanna check out:
Peace, love, and cheers to being easier on ourselves. We’re all just doing the best we can.
-Kelly from The Wild Manifesto